How Could That Plant Grow in a Rocky Place?

I was sitting in our house garage area yesterday. While praying and reading, I took notice of small plants growing on the edge of our rocky wall. I did stop long enough to stare and ask, "How could those little plants grow there in a hard, rocky place?" Then I think about how our life is. Life indeed can grow in the most unlikely places! For those who love and called of God, good can come from bad. Joy can come from sorrow. Victory can come from defeat. I'm thankful for the trials and sufferings because they serve as wake up calls. They have brought massive changes in my life and I feel that I'm becoming stronger. Growth takes strength and I believe God is giving me that strength. The Bible says, "He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength" (Isaiah 40"29). With God's help, that's ME growing up through the present rocks and hard places of life. It is promising. There is new life and growth.

God's Larger Story

"Lord, I know You have the larger story. I move with faith in You to redeem the present in the face of evil. I pray in Jesus' name, amen."

When A Spouse is Unfaithful

If you're suffering from the unfaithfulness of a spouse, I came across a helpful booklet written by Daily Bread's Tim Jackson entitled "When A Spouse is Unfaithful" that could bring perspective and guidance to you. Here are some of the questions given biblical and practical answers in that booklet: What is an affair? How do unfaithful spouses explain their affairs? What fuels an affair? Can there be restoration if the affair is still going on? What if the unfaithful spouse becomes uncooperative? Does the Bible require the injured spouse to take back the unfaithful partner? Can a marriage survive an affair? How does the heart recover from the wounds inflicted by an unfaithful spouse?

Sample Insights from the booklet:

"Can there be restoration if the affair is still going on? Absolutely not! It's absurd to think that any genuine progress could be made in healing the wounds in a marriage if the weapon that inflicted the wound is still in the assailant's hand. Restoring the exclusiveness of marriage demands a severing of all connection and communication with the affair partner. Divided loyalty is no loyalty at all." (p. 19)

"What if the unfaithful spouse becomes uncooperative? The faithful spouse should continue in personal and spiritual growth, but may need to take appropriate steps to separate from the spouse who is still emotionally dangerous. The commitment to love the unfaithful spouse is always required, even if that means loving him or her as an enemy (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27, 35)." (p. 21)

"Every affair is a running away from God." (p. 13)

"No matter what the rationale, in the end many unfaithful spouses are seduced into believing the myth of the 'greener grass.' Proverbs 6:32, 33 reminds us that the person who commits adultery lacks judgment, destroys himself, and faces an avalanche of shame. Shifting the blame is the usual tactic for dealing with shame. But regardless of what has gone on in the relationship prior to the affair, no spouse is responsible for the unfaithful partner's lack of judgment and choice to be unfaithful." (p.7)

"Although Jesus taught that divorce in the case of sexual adultery is permissible (Matthew 19:9), the decision to divorce or to reconcile is given exclusively to the wounded spouse. The unfaithful spouse, by reason of his or her unfaithfulness, has breached the marriage covenant and has forfeited all rights to the decision to divorce or reconcile." (p. 21)

"If an offending spouse refuses to give up the illicit lover or becomes belligerent ... the most loving response to such ongoing cruelty and hardheartedness may be to divorce. This prevents the unfaithful spouse from continuing his or her active defiance of the marriage covenant and limits the opportunity for abuse." (p. 21-22)

Read this GUIDE from RBC in full for the answers to these questions and more on dealing with an unfaithful spouse.

RELATED QUOTATIONS & INSIGHTS FROM OTHER AUTHORS/EXPERTS:

"The blame for marital disintegration is seldom the fault of the husband or wife alone. It takes two to tang[o], as they say, and there is always some measure of shared blame for a divorce. However, when one marriage partner makes up his mind to behave irresponsibly, to become involved extramaritally, or to run from his family commitments and obligations, he usually seeks to justify his behavior by magnifying the failures of his spouse. "You didn't meet my needs, so I had to satisfy them somewhere else" is the familiar accusation. By increasing the guilt of his partner in this way, he reduces his own culpability...You must resist the temptation to take all the blame. I'm not recommending that you sit around hating the memory of your wife. Bitterness and resentment are emotional cancers that rot us from within. However, I would encourage you to examine the facts carefully. Ask yourself these questions: Despite my many mistakes and failures in my marriage, did I value my family and try to preserve it? Did my wife decide to destroy it and then seek justification for her actions? Was I given a fair chance to resolve the areas of greatest irritation? Could I have held her even if I had made all the changes she wanted? Is it reasonable that I should hate myself for this thing that has happened?
If you examine objectively what has occurred, you might begin to see yourself as a victim of your wife's irresponsibility ... " (Dr. James Dobson)

"Every divorce is the result of selfishness on the part of one or the other or both parties to a marriage contract. Someone is thinking of self comforts, conveniences, freedoms, luxuries, or ease...Sometimes people are goaded to the point where they erringly feel justified in doing the things that are so wrong. Nothing of course justifies sin." (Spenser Kimball)

RELATED RESOURCE/s:
Healing Marriage from Adultery
The Marriage Covenant
Healing for Betrayed Spouses
10 Strategies for Surviving Infidelity
Resources for Recovering from Affairs and Infidelity
Marriage Missions Articles on Affair Recovery
"Divorce and Remarriage: What Does the Bible Teach"
Biblical Grounds for Divorce

from www.affairrecovery.com
1. 20 Mistakes of Betrayed Spouse
2. 20 Mistakes of Unfaithful Spouse

Paraclete

I'm reminded of what Jesus promised when He said that He'd not leave His friends alone. When He got ready to return to heaven, He promised that He'd send the Comforter, the Paraclete (John 14: 16-18). "Para" means "alongside" and "kaleo" means "to call." Yes, aren't you glad we have the Paraclete who fully understands us? who sees we are carrying a burden too heavy for us? who realizes we cannot make it on our own? who comes alongside and takes hold of the heavy burden and pain and helps us to lift it? What a beautiful divine Helper!

"I will send you One whom you can call upon who will come alongside and help you with your infirmities" (see John 14: 16-18).

"The Holy Spirit helps in our infirmities" (Romans 8:26).

Seeing Beyond the Present

I'm quieting my spirits. I acknowledge Jesus as Lord over the all events of my life. I choose to patiently endure suffering for Christ's sake (1 Peter 3). I choose to see beyond the present, to focus on the invisible. I choose to recognize that God is always there. As I do, it is with a sigh. Because I cannot deny the pain, I cannot ignore the difficulty. But being sovereign and His ways are higher than ours, God always gives the strength and perspective I need. God's make up and double blessing is on the way!

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Father's Love

It's Fathers' Day! My kids - Christine, 13; Paul, 10; and Angel, 4 - heartily greeted me a happy fathers' day today. Angel, my youngest who happens to be closest to me, so kissed me a lot I could hardly breathe! This has been a special time of fathering for me. I feel blessed to be able to provide them time at the moment. If there is ANYTHING that an absentee parent is less capable of doing, it is providing time with children. Not just to send money, but to provide love and comfort and discipline until the child can learn to provide that discipline for themselves. No material gift in the world can match the gift of minutes and hours and days for young kids.

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"When I was young, I never experienced closeness or memorable times with my father. So I promised myself that, when I become a Daddy myself, I will take care of my children in a more caring way. And that's exactly what I do now whatever it takes. My friend Darren texted me the other day and told me that he remembered me and my 4-year-old Angel when he recently watched Will Smith's movie, ""The Pursuit of Happyness." "Parang ikaw yun ha!" (that's like you!), referring to the loving single Dad in the movie. God has taken a past scar and turn it into a present star for me and my own kids! God has given me three beautiful children - Christine (13), Paul (9), and Angel (4)." -- Angelo Subida

"It is a wise father that knows his own child." -- William Shakespeare

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." -- Anne Sexton

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters." -- English Proverb

"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." -- Sigmund Freud



Sonora Dodd, of Washington, first had the idea of a "father's day." She thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.
Sonora wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. Smart, who was a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state. After Sonora became an adult she realized the selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910. President Calvin Coolidge, in 1924, supported the idea of a national Father's Day. Then in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day. President Richard Nixon signed the law which finally made it permanent in 1972.

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Here's a Fathers' Day video sent by one of my seminary students, Word for the World pastor Rodney Garcia:

The High Road of Forgiveness

As Christians, we are not given a choice about forgiveness. It's the Lord's command. The simple fact is, if we don't forgive others, our Father won't forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15). So I've to decide always if my anger and bitterness are worth separation from God's peace, love, and forgiveness. When God brings my wrong attitudes to light, I've to pray for strength. I pray, "Lord, help make it all right in my heart if this person is in heaven with you." It always amazes me that when you pray for someone, you can't continue to hate the person. I think that's part of God's grace, too—a grace that's big enough for both me and the person who did me wrong.